Grief Explained
Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, and one of the least talked about. The more we understand it, the less alone it feels.
Grief
The Internal Experience
The emotional response to loss. Deeply personal,
non-linear, and not
limited to death.
Any loss can bring grief.
Mourning
The Outward Expression
How grief shows up
outwardly, through tears, rituals, conversation, and remembrance. There is no right way to mourn.
Bereavement
The Period After Loss
The period of adjustment and healing that follows a significant loss, however long that takes.
The Many Types of Grief
Grief is not a single experience. It can take many forms, each with its own challenges and emotions. Understanding the different types of grief can help us make sense of what we are experiencing and identify the support that feels right for us.
Anticipatory Grief
Grief that begins before a loss occurs, often when someone we love is facing a terminal illness or nearing the end of life. Anticipatory grief is real, valid, and deserving of the same care and support as grief experienced after a loss.
Complicated Grief
Grief that remains intense and persistent over time, making it difficult to engage in daily life. It is not a sign of weakness, but rather an indication that additional support may be beneficial.
Collective Grief
Grief experienced collectively by a community, culture, or society following a tragedy, pandemic, or other significant loss. It reminds us that grief is not only personal—it is also a shared human experience.
Acute Grief
The intense and immediate response following a loss. Acute grief can feel overwhelming, disorienting, and
all-consuming, particularly in the days and weeks that follow.
Disenfranchised Grief
Grief that is not openly acknowledged or socially recognized, such as the loss of a pet, a pregnancy, a friendship, or an estranged relationship. These losses are often minimized by others, even when the impact is deeply felt.
Ambiguous Loss
A loss that lacks clear closure or resolution, such as when someone is physically present but emotionally absent, or when a loved one is missing. Ambiguous loss can be especially difficult to process because there is no definitive moment of goodbye.
The Stages of Grief
Introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and expanded by David Kessler. These are not a map. Not linear, not prescriptive, and not universal. Just patterns that help many people recognize what they are experiencing.
Stage One
Denial Stage
Stage Four
Depression Stage
Stage Two
Anger Stage
Stage Five
Acceptance Stage
Stage Three
Bargaining Stage
Stage Six
Finding Meaning Stage
The sixth stage was introduced by David Kessler. Not meaning in the loss itself, but in what we do after. How we honour those we have lost. How we carry them forward.
Grief and the Body
Mindfulness and Grief
Grief Touches More Than The Heart
Grief can affect every part of us—our energy, sleep, concentration, appetite, and overall sense of well-being. These responses are a natural part of how we experience loss. Caring for your body during grief is not a luxury; it is an important part of caring for yourself.
A Mindful Approach to Grief
Mindfulness invites us to acknowledge our thoughts, emotions, and experiences without judgment. Rather than changing grief, it helps us relate to it differently—with curiosity, acceptance, and kindness toward ourselves.
Ceremony Offerings & Mindfulness Mourning Services
What To Say
Talking about grief can feel tender, awkward, or overwhelming. There is no perfect way to say the right thing, and there is no single script that fits every person or situation and support.
These conversation prompts are simply starting points. Use them as gentle suggestions to help you find your own words, speak with empathy, and create space for honest connection.
Words of
Self-Compassion
Grief can change the way we speak to ourselves. These compassionate reminders are designed to offer comfort, understanding, and self-kindness whenever you need them most.
When I Feel Like a Burden
How do I stop feeling like a burden?
Grief can make us feel as though we are asking too much of others. The truth is that connection is part of being human, and allowing others to support us is not a weakness.
A gentle reminder:
"I deserve care and support. The people who love me are choosing to walk beside me, just as I would for them."
When Grief Feels Endless
Will this pain ever get easier?
Grief often changes over time rather than disappearing. While the loss remains part of our story, we can learn to carry it with greater strength, compassion, and support.
A gentle reminder:
"I do not need to rush my healing. One day at a time is enough."
When I Feel Overwhelmed
Why am I struggling so much?
Grief affects our minds, bodies, emotions, and spirit. Feeling exhausted, distracted, emotional, or overwhelmed is not a sign that something is wrong—it is a natural response to loss.
A gentle reminder:
"What I am feeling is a reflection of what I have lost, not a measure of my strength."
When I Compare Myself to Others
Why can't I move on like everyone else?
Every grief journey is unique. There is no timeline, checklist, or "right way" to mourn. Comparing our experience to someone else's often overlooks the complexity of our own relationship and loss.
A gentle reminder:
"My grief is my own. I honour it without
comparison or judgment."
When I Need Permission to Rest
Why am I so tired all the time?
Grief requires tremendous emotional, physical, and mental energy. Rest is not something that must be earned—it is an important part of caring for yourself.
A gentle reminder:
"Rest is part of healing. I am allowed to slow down and care for myself."
Supporting Someone
Through Grief
When someone we care about is grieving, we often worry about saying the wrong thing. While there are no perfect words, small expressions of care, presence, and understanding can make a meaningful difference.
When You Don't Know What to Say
How can I support someone who is grieving?
You don't need perfect words. Often, the most meaningful thing you can offer is your presence and willingness to listen.
You might say:
"I'm thinking of you today. You don't have to go through this alone."
When You Want to Offer Practical Support
How do I help without overwhelming them?
Many grieving individuals find it difficult to ask for help. Offering something specific can feel more supportive than a general offer.
You might say:
"I'd like to drop off dinner this week. Would Tuesday or Wednesday work better for you?"
When Someone Is Facing Anticipatory Grief
How do I support someone before a loss occurs? The grief journey often begins long before a death. During this time, people may be balancing uncertainty, caregiving responsibilities, exhaustion, and fear.
You might say:
"I'm here for you. If there's anything I can do to support you or your family, please let me know."
When You Want to Honour Their Loved One
How do I keep their loved one's memory alive? Many grieving people appreciate hearing stories and memories about the person they have lost. It reminds them that their loved one continues to be remembered.
You might say:
"I was thinking about your loved one today and remembered how kind they always were. That memory still makes me smile."
When There Are No Right Words
How do I avoid saying the wrong thing? Sometimes the most supportive response is simply acknowledging that you don't know what to say while expressing your care and concern.
You might say:
"I don't have the right words, but I want you to know that I care and I'm here for you."